Emma's Not Butch
by JMolover13
Summary: The town has classified Emma as a butch lesbian and Regina as a lipstick. Emma's not butch. AU, meant for funsies. Fluffy.


**Anonymous asked you: Emma is upset to learn that the entire town has pegged her as a 'Butch' lesbian while calling Regina a lipstick lesbian. Emma then tries to prove that she can be girly.**

**AN: Oh Anon, how can I thank you for this prompt? It was fun! Also, to everyone else, this is obviously completely AU. Everyone is friends with everyone… and for some reason, Ruby and Belle are straight—I myself am not sure why that happened…**

"I am NOT 'Butch'!" Emma yelled in the sheriff's station at her best friend, deputy and the resident werewolf, Ruby Lucas.

"Really? You could have fooled me." Ruby leaned back in her chair and stretched her long legs over the top of her desk. She looked at her nails as if she was bored of the conversation and had had it 100 times.

"Hell no! I am fuckin' girly!"

"Aside from your girly parts?"

"Fuck you! I wear heels, damn it!"

"Boots."

"I have long flowing, curly, golden, luscious locks that everyone is jealous of!"

"Yes, and if your daddy grew his hair out, we'd have a competition to see who's is better."

"I have eye lashes that draw attention to my sea green eyes and that I can literally hide behind." Emma didn't let Ruby retort, "AND! _And_ I put my tits on display."

Ruby finally looked up from her nails and gave her a look that could only say, '…really?' She kept her stare as she brought her legs to the ground, stood then began to lean against her desk, all to look the blonde dead-on, "That's all you got? Cleavage, eyes and hair?"

Emma tilted her head slightly. Clearly she was miffed. "WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED!? Boobs! Eyes! Hair! It all adds up to what? What do they add up to? Oh, that's right! Girly things! _Girly_ things! Girly. I am girly, you filthy harlot!"

"Woah!" Belle walked into the station, "What did I just walk in on?" She made her way over to the coffee pot and looked to the other two women. "Why are you calling Ruby a filthy harlot?"

Emma sneered at the other woman, "She called me 'butch'!"

"…And?" Belle looked from Ruby to Emma and back to Ruby again.

"Emma doesn't think she's butch. She thinks she's a lipstick lesbian like Regina. What are you doing here?" Ruby knit her brows in question of her best friend.

Belle rolled her eyes, "Rumple is being an ass."

"Ass per usual." Ruby laughed at her own pun.

"Shut it! I love him; he's my boyfriend."

"I'm well aware, my friend." Ruby nodded, "I just like to poke fun, is all."

"Like your boyfriend is some sort of beacon of goodness."

"He's been good! Except for that time he brought Daniel back…"

"Yeah, except that one time.." Belle smirked as she took a sip from her mug.

"Oh please! You really want to get started with the boyfriend bashing?" Ruby crossed her arms.

"NO!" Emma screamed getting their attention. She'd just fully processed what Ruby had last said to her, "If I'm 'butch' then Regina is too! There's no way that she's lipstick and I'm butch!"

"Except that there is…" Belle tried not to laugh as she took a seat at the extra front desk in the main office.

"No." Emma placed her fists on her lips.

"What is going on in here? You can hear angry yelling and mumbled sarcasm all the way down the hall…" Kathryn, Ella and Snow walked into the station. Kathryn looked around, "Is Regina here yet? She said she was coming to get you for lunch and I have the necklace and bracelet set I borrowed…"

Emma just stared at Kathryn her mother and Ella blankly before yelling, "I am NOT BUTCH!"

The trio all raised their brows in surprise before collectively laughing.

"I'm not!" She yelled again, "You wanna know why? Boobs, eyes and hair! That's why!"

"Pardon?" Snow asked her daughter as she walked over to her and took her face then felt her forehead, "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine." Emma growled, "Not butch. And I'm fine." She pulled from her mother and looked to Kathryn, "She's not here yet. I can take 'em if you need to be somewhere."

Kathryn shrugged, "I don't think we really need to be anywhere, do we?" She looked to her shopping buddies.

"No." They both shrugged as they took seats.

"What are you all doing?" Belle asked.

"We're gonna go shopping. You wanna come?" Ella smiled at the other girl.

"Yeah! I need to stay away from Rumple for a bit…"

Ella gave the other girl a knowing look.

The distinct sound of the mayor's heels clacked down the hallway. Emma waited at the door like the good puppy she was. "Regina!" She whined as soon as the woman set foot into the station. "Regina! Kathryn has your necklace and bracelet to give you and they're calling me butch! I am _not_ butch!" She pointed to the rest of the women in the room.

Regina stared at her lover a moment before taking her face and smushing it, making the blonde give fish lips, "Of course you are." She kissed the blonde's nose and turned to Kathryn, "Did you enjoy them?"

"Yes, thank you so much." Kathryn gave the mayor the jewelry back in the blue velvet box they were leant in.

"Of course, dear." Regina smiled, "Well, we're having a party, aren't we."

"BOOBS! EYES! AND HAIR!" Emma screamed and stamped her foot. "THEY ADD UP TO _NOT_ BUTCH!" She stomped her feet a few more times as she trudged to her office, slammed her door and closed her blinds to the outer office.

Regina turned to the rest of them, "Who started that?"

"The three of us got here at the same time…" Snow said for Kathryn, Ella and herself.

Belle simply pointed to Ruby, who was already raising her hand with a winning smile on her face.

"You look pretty proud of yourself, deputy." Regina tried to hide her smirk.

"I am, Madam Mayor."

"You, of course, know what is going to happen now?" She gave the werewolf a questioning look.

"You're gonna have to calm her down and I'm going to get to hang out and play Mahjong on the computer until 5." She laughed. "It's win-win for me, Madam Mayor. That's why I do it."

Regina only shook her head, "Of course, it is." Regina headed for the office door before turning back to the other women, "Ladies. It was nice seeing you all."

Emma was brooding in her chair when Regina shut and locked the door. "I'm not butch." She whined as she sat forward, planting her feet on the ground as Regina set her purse and coat down on one of the chairs and rounded the desk. Emma reached her arms out and the mayor needed no other prompting to plant herself on her lover's lap.

"Okay."

"I'm not!" Emma gave the brunette a serious look.

"Okay!" Regina nodded as her fingers slipped into Emma's curls in hopes of soothing her.

"I'm sexy as hell."

"Darling, being butch doesn't mean you're not sexy…"

"I not butch!" the blonde whined.

"Okay! I'm sorry. I'm just saying, that it doesn't mean you're not sexy if you were."

"I have hair."

"Most women do."

"I have long amazing hair."

"Yes you do."

"I have eyeballs that make you melt."

Regina smiled, "Yes you do."

"And eyelashes."

Regina nodded, "You hide behind them when you're shy."

"I know!" Emma squeezed the brunette tighter for a moment before she continued, "Oh! My walk catches everyone's attention."

"That's because it's a strut."

"Nuh uh! I glide like freaking Gracie Lou Freebush!"

This made Regina laugh, "Mhmm, yes you do." She then mumbled, "In that particular scene…"

"What?" Emma knit her brows and glared to the other woman.

"Another thing you do like her is _SING_."

"Yeah… that's what you said." She rolled her eyes and leaned in to rest her head on the brunette's shoulder. "You really think I'm butch?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly classify you as a lipstick lesbian, darling."

"And you are?"

"Of course I am! Look at me!"

"Then why am I butch? Lesbian couples do not consist of one butch and one lipstick…"

"Not all the time, no. In this case…" Regina trailed off.

"I don't understand why!"

"Really? You don't get it? Darling, you where wife beaters, leather jackets and boots—"

"Heels."

"You strut around everywhere. Aside from your hair, you don't do much to get ready. You don't like make-up, you don't like dresses or skirts or getting your nails done—you paint them, but…"

Emma slumped forward, "Why you wanna bring me down?" She looked up with her puppy eyes.

"Darling, I don't want to bring you down." The brunette leaned in and kissed her, "I can make you feel better… You want me to make you feel better?" Her tone of voice gave all the implication Emma needed to hear to know where this conversation was going to take them.

"Yeah." Emma nodded with a smile.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma walked down the street in strappy kitten heels, an orange skirt that cut off at the upper mid-thigh, a black and white striped shirt and, as her shield, a leather jacket. She had half her hair pulled back, though most still fell in her face. Her cheeks were pinker than normal and her eyelids were a little darker than normal, making her eyes pop even more than with her lonely lashes.

She walked into diner, head held high and sat at the bar. All the women that were making fun of her the day before were going to be there for breakfast. She knew this, and this was why her head was high.

Regina walked in a moment later in her favorite charcoal, pinstriped blazer, vest and pants combined with the white button up. She bit her lip as she moved to her lover and held her waist tight in comfort. She could tell immediately that Emma was already uncomfortable with the awkward silence throughout the diner.

"Dayum!" Ruby said when she walked out from the back, providing the first official vocalized reaction. She stared at her friend a moment, then walked around the counter to see the whole ensemble.

"I am not butch." Emma insisted as she stood and let the werewolf look her over.

"No…" Ruby shook her head, "No, you are not."

"No she's not." Regina kissed the blonde's cheek.

**AN: Thoughts and feels?**


End file.
